I took this picture of Mom on Friday, October 31,2008. She had a bath, had her hair washed and was dressed for the first time in a week. (since she fell last Monday.) She was happy that Barry, Carla, Lauren, Gregg and Isabella were coming that night to visit her. She ate well all day and was in a pretty pleasantly confused mood.
Saturday morning, she took a major turn for the worse. I went in to get her at 7:30 am for breakfast and she didn't know me at all, and wouldn't let me come close to her. She was extremely combative and threatened to call the police if I didn't leave her alone. I left the room for a few minutes and went back to try again. She was still very agitated, talking completely crazy, seeing people on the ceiling, in the walls. I was devastated. I broke down in tears, not for me, but for her. And I realized, that was not my mom. I didn't know that woman. I was crying, and yelling, yes, yelling at her- "I'm your daughter, Debbie, Look at me, I'm Debbie. I'm just trying to help you." She still couldn't walk and get out of bed on her own. I could have left her there, but what I didn't say in the beginning is that she was covered with...poop. That actually didn't even upset me. I just needed to clean her up, but I couldn't get close to her. I called the ambulance and they took her to Ball Hospital. By the time I got there, she knew me and had calmed down. They cleaned her up and did lots of test. She has a bladder infection, blood in the stools and will probably need a blood transfusion. They also need to re-evaluate her left leg, the one she can't walk on. I was in the ER for 5 hours with her and needed to leave, first for a water softener repair call and then to see our friend, Ray, who is in IU Med Center in Indy. Mom's brother went out to set with her in the ER and Barry was out there. Barry called me after she got to her room, telling me that she had gone completely crazy again. I am afraid that it will be all downhill now. She has more bad times than good. So I guess this will be my last post as the caregiver for my mom. When she is released from the hospital, she will be going back to a nursing facility. I can't reach her in the world she is in. But like my sister said to me, "We can't reach her in her world, but God still can." That is a comforting thought and one that I am going to cling to. I can't reach her anymore, but God will always be able to get in her world and take care of her like I can't.
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