I found this poem while doing research on Alzheimer's. I have had some rough days since I've been back from Texas and was trying to find some ideas that might help. Instead I found a poem that put it all in perspective...again.
Do not ask me to remember.
Don't try to make me understand.
Let me rest and know you're with me.
Kiss my cheek and hold my hand.
I'm confused beyond your concept.
I am sad and sick and lost.
All I know is that I need you
To be with me at all cost.
Do not lose you patience with me.
Do not scold or curse or cry.
I can't help the way I'm acting,
Can't be different 'though I try.
Just remember that I need you,
That the best of me is gone.
Please don't fail to stand beside me,
Love me 'till my life is done.- Unknown
I just needed a reminder that "the best of my mom" is gone and will never be back. I needed a reminder that I can't try to reason with her...she has no reasoning skills left. At the beginning of this ordeal, I said she was like a 4 year old, just like Cabot. I was so wrong. She is nothing like Cabot. Cabot can be reasoned with, Cabot understands what you expect him to do, Cabot can purposely try your patience. Mom can't be reasoned with, she doesn't understand what you want her to do and she does try your patience, but not on purpose. I thought if I could treat her like a 4 year old, everything would be okay. That doesn't work at all. This Alzheimer's disease is cruel and sometimes unexplainable. So now, I have this poem on my mirror in the bathroom, on my refrigerator, on my sewing table. And when I forget that all she needs from me is love, I can read this poem again and again. I need to understand that I can have no expectations from her. But she deserves one expectation from me...just to love her. And I do.
Do not ask me to remember.
Don't try to make me understand.
Let me rest and know you're with me.
Kiss my cheek and hold my hand.
I'm confused beyond your concept.
I am sad and sick and lost.
All I know is that I need you
To be with me at all cost.
Do not lose you patience with me.
Do not scold or curse or cry.
I can't help the way I'm acting,
Can't be different 'though I try.
Just remember that I need you,
That the best of me is gone.
Please don't fail to stand beside me,
Love me 'till my life is done.- Unknown
I just needed a reminder that "the best of my mom" is gone and will never be back. I needed a reminder that I can't try to reason with her...she has no reasoning skills left. At the beginning of this ordeal, I said she was like a 4 year old, just like Cabot. I was so wrong. She is nothing like Cabot. Cabot can be reasoned with, Cabot understands what you expect him to do, Cabot can purposely try your patience. Mom can't be reasoned with, she doesn't understand what you want her to do and she does try your patience, but not on purpose. I thought if I could treat her like a 4 year old, everything would be okay. That doesn't work at all. This Alzheimer's disease is cruel and sometimes unexplainable. So now, I have this poem on my mirror in the bathroom, on my refrigerator, on my sewing table. And when I forget that all she needs from me is love, I can read this poem again and again. I need to understand that I can have no expectations from her. But she deserves one expectation from me...just to love her. And I do.
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